I’m the next Kate Gosselin except I’ll have better hair.

And no children, of course.

Do you ever have days where you feel like you could be the star of a reality television show? Days were your life is just completely bizarre and you can’t really believe it’s real? Well, I do.

Today, I was doing what college students everywhere are doing this time of year. Laying around in sweat pants, trying to finish those last-minute term papers and study guides. I hadn’t put a bit of makeup on or fixed my hair. Instead, I was trying my hardest to become one with Karl Marx’s economic theories.

This part wouldn’t have made a good reality show. No way. It get’s much better, I promise.

Of course, my study time was interrupted several time by potty breaks for Justice. He’s suddenly had a few setbacks on potty training, causing the last few days to be extremely rough.

About 9:30 I took Justice out the front door. As we were walking down the steps, I looked back suddenly realizing that there was a bird flying into the slightly opened glass door. At first, I denied that it had happened… Surely I hadn’t seen a bird fly into my house, right?

Well, I returned into the casa and sure enough, there was a little bird flying around my kitchen/ living room area. I grabbed Justice, bringing him back into the house. How was I going to get this wild animal out of my house?!?

I immediately grabbed my Blackberry, dialing Colby’s number. “Honey, you need to come home right now- I just let a wild bird in the house!”

“What the hell!? Are you serious? How did you do that?” If he’s really going to marry me, he better get used to things like this. I keep life interesting.

“Nevermind about how. Just get home. I can’t get it out alone.”

“Marla, I have to empty the planter. I’ve have to do that plot tomorrow.” (Ignore the business about the plot. It’s just farmer-mubo-jumbo- completely useless to our story.) Just remember, I’m a corn widow… except I’m not married yet.

“Okay, whatever. I’ll see if Ashley (my sister) will come over and help me.”

Well, Ashley was too busy laying in bed at nine-thirty to drive two miles to help her sister who was in desperate need. Lazy ass.

(A very real, unedited, crappy picture.)

At this point, I had a cat that was peering at the bird, a whining puppy, and everyone in the world refused to help me. I had been chasing the bird around the house, but it refused to fly back through the open door. I was in a sad, desperate shape. Suddenly, Justice suddenly took a giant poop right on the living room floor. I flipped out, screaming at the poor pup and taking him streight to his crate.

I called Colby back, except this time I was in the middle of a reality-show worthy freak out. I mean, I would have made Kate Gosselin look sweet. “You have got to come home right now and help me. I cannot get this bird out of this house.”

He began to make excuses, telling me to call Ashley, etc. It was the wrong thing to do. I was beyond mad, “Fine, I’ll just leave it in the house. Hell, Justice still craps everywhere so we might as well add a wild bird to the mix. It’s not like I have anything better to do then pick up poop. I’ll talk to you later. Bye.”

Colby suddenly realized that he needed to come home right away. My sanity and his house were both at risk. It was the first time that I have ever really flipped out on him. I mean, my face probably melted away while flame’s shot out of my ears. I was that mad.

We did eventually get the bird out of the house. Two people are always better than one when chasing a bird around. Luckily, I only had to clean bird shit off one wall in the house. Bonus points for me!

Please tell me about a bizarre, crazy thing that has happened to you. I need to read your stories to know that I’m not the only nut case in the world. Please.

I’m a corn widow!

And I’m not even married yet!

Last Sunday, Colby began to work on this:

You may be wondering what exactly that is. Well, it’s a planter and it is responsible for putting corn seeds two inches below the soil.

And no, I did not have to ask- I remember that all from last year. I’m going to be a good farm wife one day… just as soon as I get used to spending all my time alone.

See, Colby and his brother Travis have been working around the clock. He came home at midnight last night, sleepily ate the delicious bowl of cereal I prepared for him, and passed out. He was gone shortly after eight this morning.

That a lot of hours for a girl to spend all alone… especially when she’s trying to write a term paper over Karl Marx. I think I might lose it soon and go completely wacko.

It’s probably a good thing I have the puppy… because at least he acknowledges me when I talk to him. Cricket, on the other hand, just runs in the opposite direction when I start ranting about Marx’s economic theories.

Some people animals just don’t understand.

Of course, if I ever finish this paper that might be what I do if anyone happens to brings it up again- RUN.

Don’t worry- I’m not going to update my blog without at least one new picture of my little Justice. Except he isn’t so little. I was only gone three days this week, but he seems way heavier than normal. I really need to start training him to a leach or we are going to have serious problems around here.

I’m suddenly imagining myself carrying a 100 pound dog around. Wouldn’t that be a sight!

Beware of the Cute

If you have ovaries, then you probably shouldn’t look at the following pictures.

If you’re a dog lover, than you should probably turn away.

If you happen to know a cute baby or puppy, you better ran fast.

If you currently feel like something is missing in your life, then you need to click the little x button on the top of your screen.

Honestly, I’m warning you.

I’m serious. The following pictures may be too much for kind, weak souls.

I know they were too much for me.

When you’re the best of friends
Having so much fun together
You’re not even aware, you’re such a funny pair
You’re the best of friends

Life’s a happy game
You could clown around forever
Neither one of you sees, your natural boundaries
Life’s one happy game

If only the world wouldn’t get in the way
If only people would just let you play
They say you’re both being fools
You’re breaking all the rules
They can’t understand, the magic of your wonderland

When you’re the best of friends
Sharing all that you discover
When that moment has past, will that friendship last?
Who can say? There’s a way!
Oh I hope… I hope it never ends
‘Cause you’re the best of friends

(I warned you… That much sweetness in one post could be dangerous.)

Gaga to the Extreme

Things that are making me totally gaga:

– Urinary tract infections.

– Having to stay in bed all day when I really need to be finishing up term papers.

– Packing my apartment.

– Night classes.

Things that are keep me sane:

– Finance’s who will drive 120 miles in the middle of the night to take you to the emergency room.

– Hershey’s Cookies’n’ Creme… King size, of course.

– Knowing that I’ll get a three week break from school in eight days.

– Hot & Cold packs on my tummy.

I’ll leave you with a picture of my darling puppy. Of course, he’s playing with a baby tumbleweed.

Smile, Darling.

I heart faces is focusing on smiles this week.

Krysta is happy to be graduating in May. (Aren’t seniors just the best subjects. They are always so smiley. And Krysta is a beautiful girl. Her eyes are really that color- no photoshopping blue eyes here!)

Fun Facts about Smiling

1. When someone smiles in is universally known as an expression of happiness whihc is recognized by almost all cultures.

2. When a person studies laughter they are known as a ‘gelotologist’.

3. There are over 18 different types of smiles that are used in a variety of social situations. For instance, people can use a smile to say a hello, and they can also use a different type of smile to show their understanding of a particular situation.

4. A frown uses more muscles to contract and expand then a smile does.

5. A smile is one of the most used human facial expressions. Smiles can use between 5 to all 53muscles.

6. Smiling releases endorphins and makes us feel better, even when you fake a smile you can feel better.

7. A person that smiles more is deemed to be more pleasant, sincere, attractive and more sociable then a on-smiling person.

8. We are born with the ability to smile, it is not something that we copy. For instance, even blind babies are able to smile.

9. Humans are able to differentiate between a real smile and a fake smile by seeing the difference in a persons eyes when they smile.

10. Newborns tend to have more preference for a person with a smile then a person that is not smiling.

(Info above found at http://www.infobarrel.com/10_Facts_about_Smiling)

Now, head over to i heart faces and SMILE.

Best Buds- Baby Style

I think this may be my favorite picture of 2010…

Rain is a good thing

Because rain makes corn. Corn makes whiskey. Whiskey makes my baby, feel a little frisky.

It’s raining here tonight. Actually, it has been raining on and off all week. We aren’t complaining though. When you’re in agriculture, rain is a good thing.

These pictures were taken last summer, during wheat harvest. A storm was rolling in and the crew was hustling to get as much cut as possible before it was time to call it a night. We aren’t quite ready to cut wheat yet, but the crop is looking amazing. I have a feeling that it’s going to be an awesome year.

Plus, rain makes me sleep like a baby, especially when I’m worn out like I am tonight. I hope you all have a restful and rewarding weekend.

Happy 100th Post to Me!

It’s my 100th post. Crazy right? Can you believe I’ve rambled on to my imaginary friends that long?

For my 100th post, I thought about making a list of 100 unique things about me. Honestly though, I don’t think I know 100 unique things about myself and that would probably scare away the few readers I do have. Instead, I decided to post 7 pictures and tell you about them.

Because that’s what I do. I post pictures and ramble on. It’s a true gift.

1.)

First of all, I have a cat- Cricket. She’s not a very nice girl though and hates my camera. She usually runs away when it comes out. Cricket is adapting well to having the puppy around. They have a good relationship because they both refuse to acknowledge each other. It works.

Of course, I had a relationship with a roommate like that once. For months, we ignored each other, refusing to make contact or inform the other when we were out of toilet paper. In the end, we both exploded and refused to ever talk again.

Nevermind, maybe it isn’t a good situation after all. Please pray for us? Justice and Cricket need to be friends.

2.)

Incase you didn’t know, I love on a farm. I’m marrying a real life, tractor driving farmer. He wear a pocket tee, blue jeans, and work boots everyday.

Farming season is in full swing. I’m adapting to no longer seeing Colby. It sucks, but it’s life. It’s been raining like crazy though, which means we are going to have some amazing harvests.

Amazing harvests= amazing vacations. I like vacations.

3.)

My baby sister has a rockstar attitude. Lately, she’s been embracing her inter-poet. This is a poem she wrote about our Father last weekend:

I heart my Dady
He’s a fatty
I call him Cady
I heart my Dady

Yes, she is probably going to be the next famous poet. And I will be responsible for introducing her work to the world.

And believe me, she’s a much better speller than I was at her age.

4.)

I’m in love with this man. We are getting married on December 23, 2010. There isn’t much else to say about that.

6.

I also love this puppy. And this puppy love my man. He probably loves my man more than he loves me.

(Please ignore the stuff covering the table in the background. And Colby’s holey shirt and dirty clothes. While your at it, please ignore his sock sticking up in the picture. Remember, he’s a real-life farmer. It isn’t glamerous.)

Colby and Justice slept together last night and the night before. They spend all day long bonding when I’m away at school. Colby actually told me that he gets to keep Justice if we get a divorce. Don’t worry about me though, he said I get custody of Cricket. I’m so glad he’s looking out for my best interests!

7.)

And I’ll leave you with this vintage picture from my high school graduation three years ago. These are my sisters. Shaylin & Ashley are graduating in three weeks. I don’t think they are near as excited as my momma.

I’ll leave you with that, friends. Tonight, I’m going to the Miranda Lambert & Cross Canadian Ragweed concert. How exciting right?

I’ll be back tomorrow.

Rockin’ the Cap and Gown

Lately, I’ve been taking a lot of pictures of College Seniors rockin’ the cap and gown. It’s that time of year and almost everyone I know is preparing for graduation. I am so excited to see what they all do with the rest of their lives.

It’s challenging at the same time. Let’s be honest, cap and gowns are exactly the most stylish clothing ever. Plus, it’s hard to take several photo shoots in the same locations while still keeping them creative. But I’ve been doing my very best to get them all unique and a little funky in their own ways. What do you think?

“I am only one, but still I am one. I cannot do everything, but still I can do something. And because I cannot do everything I will not refuse to do the something that I can do.”
– Hellen Keller

“You can never cross the ocean unless you have the courage to lose sight of the shore.”
– Christopher Columbus

“Half of the troubles of this life can be traced to saying yes too quickly and not saying no soon enough.”
– Josh Billings

“If you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change.”
– Dr Wayne Dyer

“Pessimist : A person who says that O is the last letter of ZERO, instead of the first letter in word OPPORTUNITY.”
– Anonymous

“Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work.”
– Thomas A Edison

“Hard work spotlights the character of people. Some turn up their sleeves. Some turn up their noses, and some don’t turn up at all.”
– Sam Ewing

“Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery. And today? Today is a gift. That’s why we call it the present.”
– B. Olatunji

Now, a question for all you college graduates: Did you get Senior pictures done when you were finishing University? I’m way interested in knowing…

I love my puppy!

Justice is an absolute dream… He’s the sweetest, most adorable thing in the entire world. Honestly, I wouldn’t change one thing about him.

Colby and Justice have been bonding this week while I hurry to finish up my semester. See, I go to school two hours away from home and spend Monday-Thursday in my apartment. The weekends are spent at home, surrounded by those I love. It’s not a perfect situation, but it’s working now. Even better, I only have two and a half weeks until I’m done with this semester and will move home for good.

I was a bit worried that Colby wouldn’t have time for our new baby, but he’s really stepped up and done an awesome job. He takes Justice with him everywhere and there have been no accidents since I left for school. They are currently riding on the tractor together at this very second!

Anyway, I know you are all dying to see more pictures. Here you go:

“Whoever said you can’t buy happiness forgot little puppies.”
Gene Hill

“Puppies are nature’s remedy for feeling unloved, plus numerous other ailments of life.”
Richard Allan Palm

“The best way to get a puppy is to beg for a baby brother — and they’ll settle for a puppy every time.”
Winston Pendleton

Now you can all understand why I’m in LOVE. He’s so adorable and easy-going. These pictures were taken in quick succession. He decided that he’d had enough of my camera and laid down for a little nap.

I’ll be back tomorrow,