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A new normal

Greetings from the old married lady.

Oh wait, I’m still only twenty-two, but I am really hitched. The wedding went of without many problems. At one point, the preacher accidentally coughed right into the microphone, scaring everyone in the church, but that was really the only mishap.

Everything else was perfect and we had quite the party. I danced and danced until my feet felt like they were going to fall off. The food was delicious and my face hurt from smiling.

And now, I’m married. Colby and I have been walking around since calling each other “hubby” and “wifey,” because we find it so entertaining.

I’m ready for the new normal. I’m not quite sure what that is, but know I’m ready for things to slow down for a bit.

I hope you all had a wonderful Christmas. I’ll post pictures sometime later. Right now, I’m going to cuddle up on the couch and watch a movie with my husband.

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Time out

I need to take a little blogging break. Everything is okay, I’m just overwhelmed with school, my business, and wedding planning.  My life is just too busy right now.

I’ll be back ASAP with lots of news, I’m sure.

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My Sunshine

Yesterday, I discussed the wedding.

Well, today goes along with it. For the 30 Day Meme, I’m going to post a song that currently fits my mood.

This song will be Colby and I’s first dance:

Because honestly, he is truly my sunshine.

Uncle Colby

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On Father’s Day

I would like to think all the great father’s in the world. Including this one:

My Boys

Thank you, Colby. You are so very loving and patient. I just can’t wait to see how you are in a few years with a human child.

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I’m the next Kate Gosselin except I’ll have better hair.

And no children, of course.

Do you ever have days where you feel like you could be the star of a reality television show? Days were your life is just completely bizarre and you can’t really believe it’s real? Well, I do.

Today, I was doing what college students everywhere are doing this time of year. Laying around in sweat pants, trying to finish those last-minute term papers and study guides. I hadn’t put a bit of makeup on or fixed my hair. Instead, I was trying my hardest to become one with Karl Marx’s economic theories.

This part wouldn’t have made a good reality show. No way. It get’s much better, I promise.

Of course, my study time was interrupted several time by potty breaks for Justice. He’s suddenly had a few setbacks on potty training, causing the last few days to be extremely rough.

About 9:30 I took Justice out the front door. As we were walking down the steps, I looked back suddenly realizing that there was a bird flying into the slightly opened glass door. At first, I denied that it had happened… Surely I hadn’t seen a bird fly into my house, right?

Well, I returned into the casa and sure enough, there was a little bird flying around my kitchen/ living room area. I grabbed Justice, bringing him back into the house. How was I going to get this wild animal out of my house?!?

I immediately grabbed my Blackberry, dialing Colby’s number. “Honey, you need to come home right now- I just let a wild bird in the house!”

“What the hell!? Are you serious? How did you do that?” If he’s really going to marry me, he better get used to things like this. I keep life interesting.

“Nevermind about how. Just get home. I can’t get it out alone.”

“Marla, I have to empty the planter. I’ve have to do that plot tomorrow.” (Ignore the business about the plot. It’s just farmer-mubo-jumbo- completely useless to our story.) Just remember, I’m a corn widow… except I’m not married yet.

“Okay, whatever. I’ll see if Ashley (my sister) will come over and help me.”

Well, Ashley was too busy laying in bed at nine-thirty to drive two miles to help her sister who was in desperate need. Lazy ass.

Real Life

(A very real, unedited, crappy picture.)

At this point, I had a cat that was peering at the bird, a whining puppy, and everyone in the world refused to help me. I had been chasing the bird around the house, but it refused to fly back through the open door. I was in a sad, desperate shape. Suddenly, Justice suddenly took a giant poop right on the living room floor. I flipped out, screaming at the poor pup and taking him streight to his crate.

I called Colby back, except this time I was in the middle of a reality-show worthy freak out. I mean, I would have made Kate Gosselin look sweet. “You have got to come home right now and help me. I cannot get this bird out of this house.”

He began to make excuses, telling me to call Ashley, etc. It was the wrong thing to do. I was beyond mad, “Fine, I’ll just leave it in the house. Hell, Justice still craps everywhere so we might as well add a wild bird to the mix. It’s not like I have anything better to do then pick up poop. I’ll talk to you later. Bye.”

Colby suddenly realized that he needed to come home right away. My sanity and his house were both at risk. It was the first time that I have ever really flipped out on him. I mean, my face probably melted away while flame’s shot out of my ears. I was that mad.

We did eventually get the bird out of the house. Two people are always better than one when chasing a bird around. Luckily, I only had to clean bird shit off one wall in the house. Bonus points for me!

Please tell me about a bizarre, crazy thing that has happened to you. I need to read your stories to know that I’m not the only nut case in the world. Please.

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Why God Made Mom’s

I’m worn completely out, but thought I would post this for all you Momma’s out here. I’ll be back tomorrow with my normally scheduled Justice updated… In the meantime, I’m going to bed at 9:30. Puppies are exhausting!

I could totally here my baby sister, Jamey, saying every single one of these… Well, at least the spunky ones.

Wow

WHY GOD MADE MOMS

Answers given by 2nd grade school children to the following questions:

Why did God make mothers?
1. She’s the only one who knows where the scotch tape is.
2. Mostly to clean the house.
3. To help us out of there when we were getting born.

How did God make mothers?
1. He used dirt, just like for the rest of us.
2. Magic plus super powers and a lot of stirring.
3. God made my mom just the same like he made me. He just used bigger parts.

What ingredients are mothers made of?
1. God makes mothers out of clouds and angel hair and everything nice in the world and one dab of mean..
2. They had to get their start from men’s bones. Then they mostly use string, I think.

Why did God give you your mother and not some other mom?
1. We’re related.
2. God knew she likes me a lot more than other people’s mom like me.

What kind of a little girl was your mom?
1. My mom has always been my mom and none of that other stuff.
2. I don’t know because I wasn’t there, but my guess would be pretty bossy.
3. They say she used to be nice.

What did mom need to know about dad before she married him?
1. His last name.
2. She had to know his background. Like is he a crook? Does he get drunk on beer?
3. Does he make at least $800 a year? Did he say NO to drugs and YES to chores?

Why did your mom marry your dad?
1. My dad makes the best spaghetti in the world. And my mom eats a lot.
2. She got too old to do anything else with him.
3. My grandma says that mom didn’t have her thinking cap on.

Who’s the boss at your house?
1. Mom doesn’t want to be boss, but she has to because dad’s such a goof ball.
2. Mom. You can tell by room inspection. She sees the stuff under the bed.
3. I guess mom is, but only because she has a lot more to do than dad.

What’s the difference between moms and dads?
1. Moms work at work and work at home and dads just go to work at work.
2. Moms know how to talk to teachers without scaring them.
3. Dads are taller and stronger, but moms have all the real power ’cause that’s who you got to ask if you want to sleep over at your friends.
4. Moms have magic, they make you feel better without medicine.

What does your mom do in her spare time?
1. Mothers don’t do spare time.
2. To hear her tell it, she pays bills all day long.

What would it take to make your mom perfect?
1. On the inside she’s already perfect. Outside, I think some kind of plastic surgery.
2. Diet. You know, her hair. I’d diet, maybe blue.

If you could change one thing about your mom, what would it be?
1. She has this weird thing about me keeping my room clean. I’d get rid of that.
2. I’d make my mom smarter. Then she would know it was my sister who did it not me.
3. I would like for her to get rid of those invisible eyes on the back of her head.

Have a happy Monday, friends!

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Twenty-Nine

Hello,

We are currently in Vegas for the weekend, so posting will be sporadic for the next few days. I’m not exactly a fan of paying $12.99 a day for wireless internet, but we will see what happens.

Wish us luck. We are hoping to win big and pay off the wedding in one trip.

I have one big announcement- today is Colby’s birthday! We are going to party it up!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

My love

Dear Honey Bear,

Thank you for being so darn amazing every day.  It doesn’t matter if we are watching a movie or riding the tractor, you live your life in such a wonderful way.

You work your tail off to provide for us. I appreciate that so much. I know farming is always a gamble, but I truly believe that you’ll always be successful because you are such a rock star. Thank you.

I can’t help but smile when I see you. That grin you flash at me when your feeling silly makes me day. Honestly, there isn’t a person in the world I would rather joke and be ridiculous with. I vow to never stop having fun.

Happy Birthday, Love. I thank God everyday that you came into my life.

Let’s spend forever today, okay?

I love you.

P.S.- You are even more of an old fart now… but at least you’ve got a twenty-one year old fiance. 🙂

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