I’m a bit frustrated right now… I learned today that a local busy-body who thinks that she knows the in-and-outs of my relationship was talking about Colby and I’s chances of having a successful marriage. That’s normal in a small town, but it still gets on my nerves.
First off, this girl isn’t my friend or even someone that I talk to from time to time. Instead, she’s an individual I would go out of my way to avoid if I could. Really, I try to like everyone, but I’m not into gossips… at all.
Second off, she told my sister that she didn’t think we were going to have a successful marriage… because we didn’t fight enough. Yep, you read that right. She said, “All healthy marriages have some kind of disagreements.”
Did I mention that this girl lives with her abusive boyfriend that calls her names on a daily basis? That she tells him, “I love you,” and he refuses to say it back? That she doesn’t know me at all… much less the private details of my relationship? Heck, she’s not even my facebook friend?
Colby and I have a solid relationship and rarely argue. From time to time, we will get into small disagreements that usually resolve around him working too much and me getting whiney. We don’t hold back our opinions or bottle up frustrations. Honestly, we just get along really well and rarely have disagreements. When we do quarrel we have two basic rules:
1.) We don’t fight in front of other people. Ever. First off, it makes others uncomfortable. Real life should not be like a Jerry Springer episode. Second, those who watch a disagreement usually remember them long after the individuals involved have forgiven each other. Lastly, we don’t believe that our disagreements are anyone else’s business.
2.) We don’t yell or call names. When we get angry we discuss our problems in a mature manner. I decided to not yell in arguments after I had a particularly aggressive roommate who would snap and yell over the tiniest things. If someone starts yelling at me, I get angry, even if I wasn’t before. I believe that yelling gets you no where in a disagreement and will cause more harm then good.
What do you guys think, is my marriage doomed because Colby and I get along too well? Should I start cussing him out the next time we are in public and he says something dumb?
Honestly, do you have any “fighting rules” in your relationships?