My marriage is doomed

I’m a bit frustrated right now… I learned today that a local busy-body who thinks that she knows the in-and-outs of my relationship was talking about Colby and I’s chances of having a successful marriage. That’s normal in a small town, but it still gets on my nerves.

First off, this girl isn’t my friend or even someone that I talk to from time to time. Instead, she’s an individual I would go out of my way to avoid if I could. Really, I try to like everyone, but I’m not into gossips… at all.


Second off, she told my sister that she didn’t think we were going to have a successful marriage… because we didn’t fight enough. Yep, you read that right. She said, “All healthy marriages have some kind of disagreements.”

Did I mention that this girl lives with her abusive boyfriend that calls her names on a daily basis? That she tells him, “I love you,” and he refuses to say it back? That she doesn’t know me at all… much less the private details of my relationship? Heck, she’s not even my facebook friend?

Colby and I have a solid relationship and rarely argue. From time to time, we will get into small disagreements that usually resolve around him working too much and me getting whiney. We don’t hold back our opinions or bottle up frustrations. Honestly, we just get along really well and rarely have disagreements. When we do quarrel we have two basic rules:

1.) We don’t fight in front of other people. Ever. First off, it makes others uncomfortable. Real life should not be like a Jerry Springer episode. Second, those who watch a disagreement usually remember them long after the individuals involved have forgiven each other. Lastly, we don’t believe that our disagreements are anyone else’s business.

2.) We don’t yell or call names. When we get angry we discuss our problems in a mature manner. I decided to not yell in arguments after I had a particularly aggressive roommate who would snap and yell over the tiniest things. If someone starts yelling at me, I get angry, even if I wasn’t before. I believe that yelling gets you no where in a disagreement and will cause more harm then good.

What do you guys think, is my marriage doomed because Colby and I get along too well? Should I start cussing him out the next time we are in public and he says something dumb?

Honestly, do you have any “fighting rules” in your relationships?



Filed under Marla's Ramblings

7 responses to “My marriage is doomed

  1. Definitely doomed. Better start separating your stuff soon! 😉

    We have basically the same rules. And the same type of relationship. We’re naturally sarcastic people, so we can just make a joke about something and it doesn’t turn into an event… Which is the best way to be, IMO. So I’m pretty sure you’re good on the marriage front. Ha! 🙂

  2. Don’t ever listen to others about your relationship! You know more than anyone on the subject! 🙂

  3. She is probably just envious.
    It sounds like you have a great marriage.
    LOVE the picture.

  4. Want to know the kiss of death to any relationship? Comparing it to other relationships!

    Nobody knows what happens between a couple, behind closed doors, except that couple. People outside are certainly entitled to their opinions, but criticism is never a good idea, as they are forming their views based on (a) limited info and (b) their OWN relationships.

    My view? If it works for you and it works for Colby, and you guys talk with respect and walk away from discussions feeling heard, it will all be fine.

  5. Can you believe I’ve had someone tell me the same thing? We don’t have healthy relationships because we don’t fight enough?? Ludicrous. Relationships come in all different shapes and sizes and yours sounds wonderfully delightful. In my 26 years, I have learned that many people like to make excuses for their own lives by criticizing yours. We have similar “fight rules,” esp. no name-calling!!

  6. Wow… that’s obnoxious. It sure is hard to take when peopole gossip about you, especially in a small town. I try to consider the source…. do you really have concerns based on this person’s judgement? BTW, I love your doggie pics, so adorable! My man and I do not argue in front of others and we try very hard to not yell.

  7. Oh, honey, that poor little gal is just jealous because you sees something real in your relationship. We just celebrated 34 years because we love each other, are committed to one another and work at our marriage being great. It had nothing to do with fighting.

    You’ll do great!!

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