This weekend, I learned how to plant corn. It involves pushing a few different buttons to raise and lower the planter when you turn around at the end of the field. The entire tractor is set on “auto-steer” which insure that the rows of corn are all perfectly placed the proper distance from each other.
It’s not very complicated… But I really wanted to learn.
But only because the “buddy-seat” I was riding on should really be called The Torture Seat. It’s very uncomfortable on one’s bum… so I did the logical thing and demanded that Colby switch me.
That’s the way our relationship works.
I drove, I planted corn and I dominated the world. Colby told me that I was the, “best corn planter he had ever seen in his entire life.”
But I have to keep it a secret, because I really don’t want Colby’s brother Travis to find out. He’s a slave driver and will force me out there for hours and hours and hours.
I don’t really want to make Colby a corn widower. He deserves more than that. Much much more.
Plus, I would do ridiculous things out there. I don’t do go lock in tiny space for an extended amount of time. It cramps my style. Singing and dancing to Britney Spears on the tractor isn’t exactly what farmers are known for.
I’ve also got plenty of stuff to do myself. Between summer classes, watering trees and my new grass, growing my photography career, feeding Colby, potty training Justice, and watching Jamey I think I’m almost completely capped out for the summer.
I’ve got way too much to do already!
So I need you to keep it a secret, k? I may be the best corn planter in the entire world, but they may have to wait until next Spring to cultivate my talents.
I know you guys have my back.
Of course, I’ll continue to lend them my pup, Justice. He’s got things completely covered and under control.
He’s a rock star like that.