I have a tendency to put my foot in my mouth. Seriously. Things just always seem to come out wrong. Sometimes, the link between my brain and my mouth get all tangled up and I say the most ridiculous things.
I like to think that I’m not completely stupid, but sometimes I say things that seriously would make one wonder. Take this story as an example:
My Freshmen Biology class required a big final project that entailed us to gather at least twenty-five wildflowers, dry them, and then make a big poster displaying the dried flowers and their scientific name. I remember thinking my Biology teacher was insane for assigning us a project that required us to find wild flowers in the desert, but by some amazing chance it actually rained a little bit that spring.
We enjoyed the project, mostly because it allowed us to walk all over town goofing off looking for wild flowers, for the last three weeks of school. During class. Yes, it was the perfect example of why children should not be kept in school after May 1. Nothing ever gets accomplished, but that’s another post altogether. Let’s just say that teachers are usually just as ready for summer as the kids. (And not because they are lazy. More like being drove insane by their students!)
Eventually, we found all twenty-five of our weeds wild flowers and began the process of labeling them. That wasn’t near as much fun for some reason. Something about actually having to sit in the class room and flip through books filled with drawings of plants took the excitement out of the project.
Now, my Biology class was always a bit lively; I would never accuse Mr. Science-Teacher of not having a handle of things, but we were an animated group. To this day, I can’t exactly remember how it came out, but I know we were discussing the perfect study conditions. Somehow these words blurted out of my mouth: “I do my best work with my pants off!”
Time slowed as soon as the words came out of my mouth. Had a really just said that?! Yes, yes, I did. Before long, my entire class erupted in laughter as I tried to explain that I was talking about gym shorts. “You guys, I meant I don’t like studying in jeans!” Of course, it was too late and the damage was done. For weeks months years my classmates reminded me of that story and each time I wanted to climb into a hole and pretend I didn’t know what had been said.
Luckily, some good did come out of the experience. Colby and I were set up on a blind date by one of my good friends from high school who remembered the when I do “my best work.” Of course, she had to tell him the story over steaks on our very first date.
I’m pretty sure I know why he asked me on that second date.